{Guest Post) Are you willing to play the Bad Guy, if that is the Way of Healing?

Guest Post: Jo Hilder

It was five years ago today my husband Ben came home from rehab, after six months in a residential program being treated for alcoholism and depression.

The first three months he was in there we didn't see each other or speak, as we were separated for quite some time before I drove him to the rehab to be admitted, shook his hand and wished him a nice rest of his life.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, and went home to start filling in divorce papers.

I was talking to someone today about codependency, enabling and boundaries, and how hard it can be when somebody in a relationship, household or friendship has to be the bad guy, and start living for themselves.

I remember the day I made the choice to keep living the life Ben and I had started, and finish what we'd begun in my own. I remember deciding to leave him behind, because we could not both go down. I remember when I stopped begging him to change, to see, to hear, to want it like I did, and just let him go. The day when I finally saw him as a human being who needed help, help I could not give him, instead of seeing him as the husband who let me down, and could've done differently, if only.

When I stepped up and said, I can't change this, or him, but I can change, and I am willing to. Willing to make those choices. Willing to be the bad guy, if I have to, to be happy and finish what I started.
I don't now and will never understand how it came to be my man was given back to me, and me to him. It really is a miracle. But then, me not dying of cancer a few years before that was one too. There is not a day goes by now I am not grateful to not be alone right now, to have my man beside me. And I know he feels the same about me. God is good.

For all you honeys who are doing it really tough right now, who have had to be the bad guy, who have had to break something to fix it, who have had to keep going and finish what you started alone, can I just say, I stand back right now and give you the slow clap. I know it's hard. I know you cry. I know you think you can't. But you do anyway, unseen, unnoticed. Unthanked and unhelped. You're doing it. And you can be so proud. You need to know you're not invisible, and what you're doing isn't a waste of time. Hang in there, honey, it's going to work, and it's going to work out. You're doing a great job, and everything is going to be okay.

Christmas is a shit of a time. For those of us who have had to make those very, very hard choices, Christmas can be like one of those times you want to drop off the face of the earth. I just wanted to tell you, I know, me too. I believe in you. It's going to be okay.

And you're doing an awesome job, honey. Really, you are.

Love you lots,
Jo xxxxx

Guest Post: Jo Hilder

Jo is an Australian writer, coach and speaker: website.
She shepherds a highly-interactive & nourishing FB group: Free-range Christians

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You can't be who you Really ARE, can you? (Yes! Come on in, the water's fine)

• Are you holding the opposites within yourself  - BOTH this And that?
• Do you wonder how you hold So Many voices, within yourself?
• Do you hide the beauty and terror of your internal expereince, and instead opt to fit-in?

Me Too! 

• Are you Leaving Out parts of who you are?
• Do you cover-up parts of yourself with some folks, and other parts of yourself from other folks?
• Are there choices you have made - are making - that you would rather no one see?

Me Too!
And
I am learning a new way - to be more integrated, authentic... I bet you are too!

It has taken a lifetime for me to learn, and I am still integrating:

• I really can be spiritually a Mystic and intellectually an Agnostic.
• I really can be Queer and love God.
• I really can come from a Christian Foundation, and love the Earth and the Female Face(s) of the Divine.
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• I really can be a Leader and Teacher, as an Introvert.
• I really can be a Healer, even though I have experienced much of my life as Broken.
• I really can serve businesses, organizations, and individuals of all stripes as a Seer / Psychic - utilizing soul senses and abilities out in the World.

What are your challenges in being yourself?  holding your opposites?

I can not only LIVE my paradoxes, my dichotomies,
OWN back the lost parts of myself...
I can do it with JOY,
and I can do it in SERVICE.

Are you wanting this kind of thing for yourself?

I can BE all of myself here AND there.
I can talk Jesus with Pagans.
I can talk Soul with Agnostics.
I can talk Bisexuality and Polyamory with church ladies.
Etc.

How are you practicing this in your life?

The more I do it, the easier it is, the better I am heard;
and the more my world shifts, integrates...
And of course, I am still in process.

Owning all these parts of myself is actually a blessing, not just to me, but for everyone.
Finding wholeness matters.
Modeling wholeness matters.
Acting from our wholeness matters.

Do you want to make this kind of difference in the world?

I am in the continual process of owning and integrating these many disparate parts of myself,
parts of myself that I enjoy more or less, 
parts that are more or less acceptable, in our shared reality;
allowing myself to be myself, become myself in all my unique human beauty.

So are you!
All of us really CAN be who we ARE.
Let's play together, learn together, laugh together, grow together, inspire each other, open our world!

in life
- Wendy

HOW do we WIN the Game of Life?

We don’t have to WORRY about Life, Safety, Stuff…
All we need is right here for us.


When we follow our Spiritual Path, instead of the physical way imposed upon us, and driven within us:
We WIN.

When we Spiritually Die, then we spiritually rise:
We WIN.

When we invest where we are Spiritually Led, we reap incredible rewards:
We WIN.

If you have been wondering how to live life:
This is the Way, and
we inexorably WIN. We Can Not Lose.

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So, HOW?

Jesus said:

• Don’t build on Sand, build on Rock… by Seeing/hearing then Doing the will of the Living God, following our unique path!
• Seek first the Reign of God, Right Relationship with God, and all the things we need come to us.
• I see my Father doing, and I do... and we are called to as Jesus did - he said we would do greater things than him.

This is not always easy, but it is straightforward:

• We open to our SOUL Information, our Spiritual Senses.
• We intend to ALIGN with ourselves and our Source: with our God, our Light, our Love, our Life, our Truth, our Way…
• We are FILLED & HEALED & FREED Spiritually.

~

• We continually let go of the old self and the old ways (this sometimes feels like DYING, because it is!).
• We continually open to Life HERE & NOW, as it is, as we are.
• We WALK our own Unique Soul Path, which becomes clearer and clearer, as we walk it.

Do you Really want to WIN the Game of Life?

• Say YES to your Source, and get ready for the Ride of your Life!
• Your mind will be BLOWN by what you do, who you be, with-whom you go, where you end up.
• You inexorably WIN. You Can Not Lose.

Being good has never set me free the way truth has.

There is really a lot to love about this book, and I hope to share more in the future:

Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint

For now one of the quotes that has stayed with me,
came up in a session with a dear client today.
She was blessed as well, so I share with you:

     There’s a popular misconception that religion,
Christianity specifically,
is about knowing the difference between good and evil
so that we can choose the good.
But being good has never set me free the way truth has.
Knowing all of this makes me love and hate Jesus at the same time.
Because, when instead of contrasting good and evil,
he contrasted truth and evil,
I have to think about all the times
I’ve substituted being good (or appearing to be good) for truth.

     Very often I will avoid the truth
until my face goes red like a toddler avoiding her nap;
until limp limbed,
she finally stops flailing and falls asleep and receives rest—
the very thing she needs and the very thing she fights.
When someone like me,
who will go to superhuman lengths to avoid the truth,
runs out of options—
when I am found out or too exhausted to pretend anymore
or maybe just confronted by my sister—
it feels the truth might crush me. And that is right.
The truth does crush us,
but the instant it crushes us,
it somehow puts us back together into something honest.
It’s death and resurrection every time it happens. (73-74)

Ohhh, I wanna 'preach' like that - beautiful!

Blessed Death & Resurrection to all.
The Dying doesn't last forever.
Let's Let Go and Let God, and get it over-with.
And get on with the Resurrection, Revolution, Beautiful Powerful Renovating Truth of Life!
-Wendy

The Word of God: from Glory to Glory!

From my perspective:

• The bible is not God. 
• Reading the bible is not a substitute for Adventuring with the living God.
• The bible is not the point, it is a tool.
• The bible is a message of Hope and Glory, or falling down and getting back up, it is a signpost to Choose Life.

I believe that the main point of the bible
is to point us to a real, intimate, 2-way relationship with the Living God,
and from there with each other, and our world.

I believe

• The 'Word of God' is not the bible.
• When the bible speaks of the 'Word of God' it means the actual present-time Expression (and therefore Presence and Blessing) of the Living God (which Jesus IS one expression of)
• The 'Word of God' is Not some vestigial words in a book...
• God did not get laryngitis 2,ooo years ago ; )

If interested: Please check out this Bible search of 'Word of God' here

IMO, the point of the bible is NOT reading about someone else, a long time ago, doing the spiritual equivalent of...

• having the best relationship of their lives, 
• the best dinner of their lives, 
• the best sex of their lives, 
• the best dance of their lives,  
• the most intimate conversation of their lives, 
• the most sublime and Real expereince of their lives...

Rather to inspire US to DO IT!!!!
To spiritually:

• allow God to explode/implode within and around us.
• allow God to open the eyes & ears of our Soul to spiritual reality / Christ Consciousness /  the Kingdom (Reign) of God/Heaven...
• allow God to lead us personally and fill us wholly in our Soul's Light, Way, Truth, Life

To spiritually:

• step into the direct experience of God ourselves
• Live that Adventure,
• Die & resurrect along the unique road that we are led,

as So many before us have, from Glory to Glory.

God's Word creates the world, creates us, creates all possibility.
Living with, in and through the Word of God: God's Being, God's Doing, God's Presence, God's Gifts feed us, clothe us and set us free.

If we are not getting IN this Blessing;
If we are not BEing & DOing in Alignment with God,
by being with, in and though the Word of God,
We are squandering our life - and it isn't the fun kind of squandering!

If INSIDE OURSELVES:

• we are less-than Enthusiastic, less than Hope-Full, less than Free...
• we are not living in Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Humility, Kindness, Moderation, Faith...

There is a Reason for This!
This is a sign that we are are not in alignment with God, we are missing the mark, missing the boat, missing the Blessing of what Life Can Be.

When we are in alignment with God:

• The Fruit of the Spirit is the fruition, the blossoming, the mature expression of the Life of God with, in and through us!
• We walk and talk and are filled-with the expereince of the Living God: we Live Life Abundantly! 

When we choose not to do this:

• Our life can feel like trying to drive with an empty gas-tank, without a map or cell phone or money, in a scary part of town at night... 
• It is no surprise that our expereince of life can become merely "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short."

Therefore, I exhort us all to : Choose Life, Real Life, the Life we are made-for, the Life that is waiting for us: Living with, in and through the present-time, personal Word of the Living God, a juicy Relationship with God, from Glory to Glory!

thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it.
- http://biblehub.com/isaiah/30-21.htm

The Acorn Becomes an Oak Tree: God's PROCESS of Transformation

My favorite Christian teacher, Dr Bruce Morgan, used to say, all the time; and it is my expereince as well:

• Some churches/fellowships will want you to be in their box, so much so that they are willing to cut off your arms and legs to make you fit.
• But, God calls us to be ourselves!
   
• You are God's own Special Nut!
• The acorn becomes an oak tree - let's come to our maturity (whole and complete as ourselves), as God uniquely made us to be (the greek word is teleios, see http://biblesuite.com/greek/5046.htm ) 
• This wonderful word meaning whole and complete, coming to our maturity is sometimes translated perfect: "ye shall therefore be perfect, as your Father who is in the heavens is perfect."

I have been aware of, and in intellectual alignment with this re-framing of perfection for decades now. I am called to be me, whole and complete in God.
But it takes time to ALLOW the God's perspective, true spiritual reality to deeply sink-in - it is taking me and God Lots of time.

"be not conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

We live in a world that expects and rewards idealized perfection - it is our culture.  And perspecitve this is increasing through ubiquitous advertising (programming) that tells us, YOU ARE NOT OK... so:
- buy this product/service, so you can fit-in, be happy, get-by, and
- work very hard, be successful on every level, so you can be an acceptable, love-worthy human; and so you can afford products/services : )

Many of us learned at home, that we weren't ENOUGH.
I grew up in a home:

• in which I was told I had to be (model) beautiful to be loved,
• in which 'looking good' was the practice,
• in which trying to be an idealized perfection was the goal,
• in which earning A's on my report card was an expected default - being exemplary = average,
• in which I was trained that the reason my father bullied and beat me was because I was bad and I did it wrong (that was a lie; his rage was his addiction, not my fault).

So, this transition to BEING OK, as I am, where I am;
Experiencing that what I am doing, thinking, seeing, knowing, saying, feeling is OK;
Knowing that I am beautiful, loved, and perfect in God... is taking a long time.

It takes many of us a long time to overcome the lies we are schooled in, the programming, habits, pain, fear that we have learned, that we have lived.

In my spiritual practice of allowing the EXPERIENCE of God's love for me, spiritually allowing-in that I am OK, valuable, valid, whole and complete in God...  Heals me and helps me BE and DO in the world in more and more freedom and joy.

Sometimes it feels like God's transforming of me and my life is taking forever.  But when I am seeing clearly, I look back from where I've come, and I am amazed at the miraculous journey.

I pray you are:

• Hopeful and moving along in your PROCESS of Transformation that God is bringing you though. 
• Knowing that You are God's Own Special Nut.
• Allowing God to grow you up into the Great Oak that you Are, from the small Acorn that you used to be.
• Hearing God's call for you to Be Yourself.

in life, wendy

Meet the Real Jesus Directly, in Present-time

Many people have opinions for, against and about Jesus; but most don't actually KNOW HIM, at all.

Regardless of how judgmental and boring some folks portray Jesus in modern America, that is not at all my experience of him. For me, and many folks I know:

• Jesus is fun, 
• he is laid-back and easy to be with, 
• he is incredibly validating, he is powerful, and 
• he is a wonderful guide and role-model for us to live in present-time, in alignment with God and live lives filled with delightful and delicious, spiritual gifts and abilities.

By working directly with Jesus you can learn to:

• Invite your spiritual vibration to Rise: let go of other's energies, and heavy, dark vibrations;
• Validate your spiritual connection to your body, to the Earth and to your Unique connection with God;
• Say hello to the incredibly healing and empowering vibrations that Jesus brought to Earth, and allow God to utilize these golden blessings to heal, clean and present-time your system;
• Allow emotional healing and become less judgmental by utilizing the spiritual perspective of neutrality.

I encourage you to:

• Clear other's opinions and religious information about Jesus, and
• Get to know Master Jesus, in present time, for yourself.  
• When we come into a present-time, spiritual relationship with Jesus, we gain a friend and guide for life!

This is the center of my ministry.  I hope you enjoy your unique expereince of Jesus!!
-Wendy

Book II of our lives can start right NOW

I had the privilege to meditate and heal-with someone today for the first time.
She has had a very challenging life, and an extremely difficult time on almost every level, for the last few years.

When I spoke with her physically, it was challenging to not go into sympathy…
so much pain, so much hardship – how would she be able to find her way out?
I kept thinking about Job.

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But then when I worked with her spiritually,
I saw how incredibly capable she is,
what a beautiful spark of Life she is.

I could see how, now, at any moment,
she could turn around from her current trajectory,
backtrack a bit to where she got off-track and keep going on her beautiful, bright path in God.

I could see how useful it is to drop the past,
all its hooks and attachments… and Pain.

The biggest thing I could see is
– if she allows it, Book II of her life starts NOW.
The future can be so bright
– almost anything is possible, in delight, in service, in God.

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It is such a blessing to meditate & heal with folks, for many reasons
– including because we all share so much in common.

For me, for you
– our past doesn’t have to define us,
our current pain need not stop us.

We are each beautiful sparks of Light…
and Praise God, Book II of our lives can start right NOW.

All we have to do is say yes to God,
yes to our call in God,
yes to Life, Abundantly.

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Blessings on your unique journey, Wendy